Friday, September 23, 2011

Let me tell you something about desensitization.

You know you’re desensitized when you don’t mind eating lunch in front of your cadaver while the rest of your groupmates examine the structures found in the internal heart or the lobes of the lungs.

You know you’re already desensitized when you get your major exam back, see that you failed by one or so points, and feel nothing, or something like “it’s time for lunch”.

You know you’re desensitized when you see this naked little girl walking along Tutuban while cars and jeepneys go bumper-to-bumper with each other.

You know you can no longer feel anything when you see a wall post by someone to someone on facebook and instinctively think that they’re probably dating now.

…okay, so maybe I’m not so desensitized by that last situation. But my point is, it kind of sucks when you reach that point in your life when you feel like you can’t feel anything anymore. Parang feeling a loss of whatever feeling you used to have, Maybe it can be likened to a writer losing his muse or his mojo or whatever.

They say it’s just a phase, this feeling-nothing feeling. I can’t quite explain it. I can’t exactly say that I don’t feel anything, I just feel bleh. I hate it. It sucks to not feel like you’re in your own body. Maybe I’m just PMS-ing or maybe because I’ve been listening to too much Adele for the past week, but whatever this is, God I hope it ends soon.

I can’t be depressed, can I? I forgot my abnormal psychology lectures that I can’t even properly give signs of depression. I have to look it up soon.

Ugh. I’m mumbling and not even making much sense. I mean, do you get it? Do you get those days that you just feel like you’ve been waking up on the wrong side every freakin’ day and you feel like the days go by so so so slowly, but at the same time, you also feel like you’re not having enough time to do everything? Stop mumbling, Mia.

This is going to be one sad sad post that I won’t even understand in a few months. I wish I won’t, because I don’t like this phase. I like my happy and giddy periods. Those are the better ones. 


I like how my iPod plays the most fitting songs when I write. Right now, I'm listenng to Bob Dylan's Blowng in the Wind and somehow, I feel like it's telling me something. The answer is blowng in the wind daw oh. 


Life's frustration right now: not being able to join Medical Missions Inc. 

I've mentioned in one of med school interviews before how I dreamt of working in the mountains or in far-flung areas and being a community doctor. And when I got introduced to MMI, I felt that this, this is the life I want! I want to do medical missions every weekend and meet fantabolous people from Visayas, Mindanao and barrios I've never heard of before. But here comes the big but(t). I also realize that I can't split my time (yet) between studying and joining orgs. It's not like college when I can have all the org time that I want. Frustrating, sobra


It's med week next week, and I'm sort of heading our class's props committee. So when did I start becoming artsy? Haha, I have no idea. I can't even make these stupid rocks. 

Monday, September 12, 2011

Meiday! Meiday! x Arigato, Hato! EP Launch

In hopes of fulfilling my dream of becoming a hipster (even for a single night), I dragged my friends to Arigato, Hato!’s EP launch at B-Side Bar in The Collective, Makati.

For the record, I’ve never attended anything like this before. Sure, I’ve been to free concerts in malls and in open grounds, but never anything similar to this. I’ve always thought that album launches are exclusively for friends of the artists or for people who were really passionate about the music. Me, I’m just your regular pretentious hipster. Haha! Even if I listen to indie music most of the time, but I rarely get local indie music. I guess it’s just that I was never really exposed to a lot of local music, be it indie or mainstream. But lately, I’ve been obsessing over this band that my brother sort of introduced to me. Friends, meet the band Bee Eyes.

Borrowing words from a friend, Bee Eyes sounds like Beach Boys but more indie and anti-folk (whatever anti-folk means). I’d like to think that their songs would be perfect on a long drive going to the beach or during an afternoon nap by the gazebo on the beach. Check them out in Bandcamp to download the rest of their songs!

And after realizing and frantically texting my brother about Bee Eyes being part of the line-up for the next Meiday! Meiday! gig, I’ve decided that I have to go to the launch to listen to the band live, and probably to buy Arigato, Hato!’s latest EP too.

 Lots of hipster kids in Malugay that night, but also some equally normal-looking people like us who were there to check things out and to listen some good local music.

It was too bad we never got to listen to The Dorques and Pedicab that night (we had to go somewhere else), but it was an experience nonetheless.

Bee Eyes playing live was just amazing! I like how they sounded when recording in the studio, but the energy when they played live was more exciting. I was hoping I’d get an EP or something that night, but no luck.
And when another band called Ciudad played, the crowd just went crazy! Well, hipster crazy if you know what I mean. I’ve never actually listened to any of their music before, but after listening to them that night, I’ve been searching and downloading their songs. Galing rin!

The last band we caught before leaving Malugay was Techy Romantics. I’ve known this band since college, and I can’t quite remember how or why. I wasn’t much of a fan since they sounded more like House than indie rock to me. But the vocalist was super pretty! And her voice! Parang Bonnie Bailey lang, but less electric, which I consider as something good.

 I wanted to hear The Dorques play. Last time I’ve seen them was during UP Fair way way back, and I’ve always remembered them as the band who includes Nihonggo in their lyrics.

Hopefully, this won't be the first and last Meiday! event that I can go to. Malugay is just a lot more accessible than Cubao. 

Sucky photos I know. I insisted on not using flash. :/

Friday, September 9, 2011

Tipid Days

Before I entered college, I’ve always known that siomai and every other dimsum I know are classified under appetizers in any Chinese restaurant. And this is partly the reason why dimsum is supposed to be served first, or at least next to soup.

But thank God for Dimsum ‘n Dumplings in the Gonzaga Caf and my need for a 50-peso meal, the siomai rice was born. I remember not understanding why siomai was served with this huge cup of rice that the kuya even bombards with lots of soy sauce. Weirdly, it works! And from then on, siomai rice has become a good choice if anyone was in the need of an equally filling and very affordable meal in the caf.

So now, my dad gets surprised to see me and my siblings eat our siomai with rice. I realize older people don't get the idea of eating siomai as ulam to rice, but hey, it doesn't work for everyone. I would think the genuine Chinese people in China or Hong Kong would cringe by the thought of pairing up siomai with rice. Haha.

This invention (or discovery) of siomai rice was taken to another level when I started school in UST. Dapitan is known to be the place where one can find meals for merely 30 pesos, pwede pa yata unlimited rice. I later realize that siomai rice was one of the cheapest and most common meals served in almost all carinderia’s in Dapitan area. Meron maraming siomai wrap, meron maraming chili, meron lasang harina, meron lasang bola-bola. Siomai rice can go for as cheap as 25 pesos (this includes rice and 5 pieces siomai with very very little meat) and possibly 50 pesos at the most.

And for someone who’s been exposed to lots of siomai all her life, I think the only thing siomai-y about the siomai in Dapitan would be the siomai wrapper. The Chinese taste (and even smell) just wasn’t there. But malamang you’re not supposed to expect that from a piece of siomai that’s cheaper than a cup of rice right?

Let me introduce you to one of the better siomai I’ve tasted in UST.

4 pieces Sharksfin Siomai with rice for only 40 pesos 

Dimsum Treats is located beside Pacific Suites Condominium along Dapitan Street. Compared to other carinderia’s in Dapitan, Dimsum Treats specializes in siomai. They have special siomai, sharksfin siomai, mushroom siomai, chicken siomai, quail egg siomai and Japanese siomai. I personally think it still doesn’t have the authenticity we can taste in genuine siomai, but the siomai here tastes way better than the others. But it’s super meaty, as in it’s so meaty, para nang bola-bola wrapped in siomai wrap.

Siomai rice has become a no-brainer choice for me now. If I’m looking for something cheap or something that’s a no-fail choice, Dimsum Treats is ze way to go.

And with all this tipid phase I’m trying to pull off, I’ve decided to try and save money.

 My improvised alkansya

I know, I should’ve bought a nicer coin bank. (someone please give me a nicer coin bank for Christmas :D) I emptied the nuts inside the can and filled it with coins and loose change. The goal was to save as much as money as I can in one month, and today marked the 30th day of my money-saving days! I already planned what I wanted with my savings, maybe a new pair of shoes or a new dress? Ambisyoso! I counted my savings and sadly, I only earned 800 pesos. Fine, 780 pesos to be exact. I seriously thought I can save more than a thousand in a month, but I guess not. Where does my allowance go then?? Oh well, at least I have money to pay the electrical bill for this month.

I don’t know why I’ve been spending too much lately, because I remember not spending so much in a day during college. Maybe it’s the milk tea after class or the occasional coffee or the weekend gimmicks. 

I need to think of a new battle plan to save more money and to buy more shoes. I now feel the need to pay for my own luxuries because the times have become harder and shoes no longer come cheap. And well, because I realize it’s actually pretty exciting to save money. I get excited everyday thinking how much money I’m saving already and what shoes I can buy with my hard-earned (HAHA) money.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Zombadings 1: Patayin Sa Shokot Si Remington

 I haven’t been very honest. Probably one of the reasons why I’m not doing so well in school was because I’ve been distracting myself by watching movies. But c’mon, we all deserve a good laugh or a good cry sometimes right? A few days ago, I was planning in my head an entry about One Day by David Nichols and its movie adaptation, but I kind got lost with my thoughts and so decided to do that maybe next week instead.

Tonight, a friend and I watched Jade Castro’s Zombadings 1: Patayin sa Shokot si Remington.

I think I’ve seen the trailer of the film when I watched another indie film entitled Isda a month ago. I remember not liking the trailer because, honestly, zombies don’t really fascinate me that much. I just don’t get the fad. And when I heard from another friend how Zombadings was not funny, all the more did I hesitate. (But looking back to that conversation now, I wonder how the heck did my other friend not laugh, or even giggle, when he watched this.)

I’m not going to tell you the story the way most people do when they watch a film. I’m lazy and my mind at 12AM (surprisingly) is slow to function. I'll just most likely spoil everything in the process of writing anyway.

Quick question: when do we call a film a film and a movie a movie? I’d like to call Zombadings 1 a film instead of a movie because I don’t think it’s supposed to be as commercialized or as mainstream as the usual Star Cinema films we usually watch.

I personally admire Martin Escudero’s acting. I don't really know him or have heard of him before this film but he’s ultra funny with the way he talks in gay lingo and how he has this confused face whenever he’s trying to fight his inner gayness in the film. And can I just say that that rainbow and star filled solo dance scene in the middle of the streets was the funniest. The scenes preceding that one were okay, the earlier ones dragging, but I’m guessing a lot of the people watching got shaken up or at least became more attentive when Remington started swaying his hips and dancing to a tune in his head.

Kerbie Zamora wasn’t so bad as an actor as well, although I have to admit, I seriously felt uncomfortable during the stairs scene when Zamora started kissing Escudero’s deltoid all the way up to his lips and down to his ya-know. I cringe. But at the same time, laugh because again, Escudero’s facial expressions were the funniest and the most natural! I’m not the best person to criticize anyone for his acting, but I’m sure it took a lot of serious effort for these two boys to play their roles. Ang galling. And, that hair! That skin color! I tried searching for Kerbie Zamora and found out only a few minutes ago that he was apparently part of this model search. I love his curly and slightly unkempt hair plus his reddish and orange-y skin color. Macho gwapito yes.

But about the film…

It was actually pretty good. Maybe it made me appreciate the idea of zombies and its area of sci-fi (if I am right that zombies are under sci-fi). But in terms of being funny, grabe lang. I haven’t laughed that hard since Kimmy Dora or Date Night (whichever came out last). I’m not one to compare, but I didn’t find Babae Sa Septic Tank as funny as most people said it was. But Zombadings… Martin Escudero, you’re all cute and funny! Sana bading ka na lang. Haha! But I would understand that some people may not find this film funny since it has its own kind of humor. You know, how there are some Western films that do slapstick comedy while some do green jokes comedy; Zombadings is more of Pinoy comedy. I can’t really explain it, but there are really just some things that Filipinos find super funny that other nationalities would just go ‘ano daw?’.

One thing I didn’t like so much though was how the film still infused a little mainstream vibe through Remington’s dad played by John Regala. From being the strong and tough dad transforming into a full-on gay dude, John Regala still did amazingly well. I just thought they’d do something more ‘indie’ (whatever that may be) than just making the scene between the father and the son so dramatic, with matching background music if I remember correctly. Only in that part did I feel that it was like Maalala Mo Kaya or Mula Sa Puso. But again, maybe it’s just me.

Last of the many things I liked about the film was what Lauren Young said about gay men and women. She said the gay individuals she knew were strong and would fight, even struggle, for something they believe and to be someone they have chosen to be. 

We really should have more of these films, indie films I mean. As much as I love watching Sam Milby and Toni Gonzaga tandems, it's equally refreshing to watch something different and to have other equally interesting stories to be told. We're all suckers for love stories, but sometimes, movies and films are really more than that.

If you haven't seen the film, here's the trailer which can probably convince you to go watch the film.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Grades Are Out

A friend texted this morning reminding me that it’s already September which means Christmas is near. And I did actually feel the Christmas air today. The air was cooler and walking to school in the noontime sun didn’t feel so hot anymore.

Christmas spirit my ass. Today seriously did not feel like the start of Christmas. Sorry for the use of words, but GUUUH!

Let me share something about myself that most of my friends know about me and something you might have probably guessed about me, even. I am grade-conscious. I am a walking grades-tracker. And because I am very very much obsessed about my grades, I tend to be very competitive. I’m a crab; sometimes, I think I’m unconsciously pulling people down just so I won’t feel so bad that I get low grades on an exam. It’s crazy, and I can’t get rid of this evil girl inside my head. (It’s ironic. While writing this, Urbandub’s Soul Searching is playing in the background. Funny.)

So after more than a week of waiting, the first shifting grades are out. I already told myself a week ago that it’s fine if I don’t get really high grades. It’s a tough time for me – adjusting to the school, to the study habits, to the lifestyle, to the culture, to new classmates, to everything. Hence it should be expected that I won’t be getting high shifting grades, but passing the shift should not be impossible, right? But regardless of the mental preparation that I’ve put myself into, it still feels so different when your facilitator hands you that slip of paper with your computed grades. And then you see your classmates’ grades, so you feel even worse.

Oh hay gulay. When did grades even start to matter?

I’ve had my share of lectures and deep conversations with friends about grades not defining who we are and how they’re just numbers. I mean, I know all of this and I’ve heard those lines over and over, but again, why? Why do grades matter? (I am using too many question marks, and it feels like awkward). And to make it worse, I have this feeling that in med school, the higher your grades are, the more popular or the better-looking you get. It’s possible, believe me. It feels like there’s a direct relationship between your grades and your popularity or appeal. It sounds silly and funny, but it can also be true. I mean, popularity or looks isn’t my issue here, I’m just saying how grades seem to matter so much now, even more than they did before during high school or college. That grades not only determine you passing or failing, but also your chances of improving your social life maybe? This is a theory I am yet to prove, but I digress.

I’m 21 years old and I should’ve outgrown this GC phase the way I’ve outgrown pop punk and emo music. But nooo. I’m old and whining about my stupid grades. I feel childish and unreasonable, but at the same time, I can’t hide the feeling that this really is an issue for me and that my grades really do matter dearly to me.

But you know what I really want, what I deeply want in my life for so long? To feel that I’ve worked hard enough for something, to have that peace of mind that yes, I’ve done well and have given enough to bring about something great, something that I can be proud of, and maybe to see that my efforts are not put to waste. Yes I know, I ask for the impossible.